


According to Policy

by Shift7



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Human, Epilogue added, Fluff, Gen, Getting Together, Ineffable Bureaucracy (Good Omens), Multi, Other, Shift Managers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-08-14 03:15:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20185345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shift7/pseuds/Shift7
Summary: It started with a passive-aggressive note.Well… It was actually less passive and more just straight-up aggressive.---Update: Epilogue added!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I guess they can be humans in a coffee shop this time. 
> 
> I blacked out while I was working on something else and this happened instead. It’s very self-indulgent and light-hearted.

It started with a passive-aggressive note.

Well…

It was actually less passive and more just straight-up aggressive.

** _If you’re not going to clean your shit up, at least leave us SOMEONE to help this weekend. Assholes._ **

Gabriel looked down at scribble of hand-written text and frowned.

Ever since the Big Falling Out, which is what they had started calling it, where Gabriel had to let Aziraphale go, the opening shift had been on testy terms with the closing one. 

Aziraphale was always skirting away on his shifts to talk to one of the daily customers. It made Gabriel's team, which he prided on their efficiency, promptness, and adherence to policy, look bad. That, coupled with the fact that he was known to eat numerous pastries at work when no one was looking, left Gabriel with very little patience. He didn't care if they were day old or whatever the excuse had been. It was against the rules.

He had sent a very terrible performance review to the General Manager with the hopes of the higher authority handling it, that was the right way to do things after all. 

Eventually though, after a couple of weeks of silence and very little behavior change on Aziraphale's part, Gabriel took the initiative and just let the boy go. It was within his right as a manager and dealing with his other employees complaints was just becoming too taxing. Clearly, Aziraphale just didn’t have the proper attitude for the job anymore and no one would be able to fault Gabriel for taking matters into his own hands.

But then _it_ happened.

Gabriel discovered, after the fact, that Aziraphale’s termination had also caused one of the closing shift's employees to quit as well. It turned out that the terminated employee and Aziraphale's regular were one and the same. Gabriel guessed they were friends? More than that? He wasn’t quite sure. Either way, it had left both shifts undermanned and he had a sneaking suspicion the closing shift blamed him for their troubles.

“They’re just so rude,” Michael said making a face after Gabriel showed her the note. “And _ dirty _. For all we know they’re a major sanitation investigation waiting to happen. I won’t do it.”

“I don’t know Michael, the place always looks spotless when we come in in the morning. We've had no complaints about them.”  
  
“I’m pretty sure their manager has never washed their hair.” She continued, wrinkling her nose. “I bet they absolutely _ reek. _ Isn’t there a whole section on proper hygiene in the handbook?”

“Again,” he repeated matter-of-factly, “We’ve had no complaints, as far as I know, maybe they just… look like that.”

“Disgusting.”

“Please be kind.” Gabriel chided, agreeing with her silently.

"I bumped into one of them one accidentally one time. They're mean," Sandalphon piped up from behind the counter. “I’m out.”

"I won't work with them either.” Uriel chimed in to make their opinion known, ”Would be like Hell on Earth."

"Guys!" Gabriel lamented. 

"Ignore it. It's not like it's a formal request anyway." Michael pointed out. “It’s more of a suggestion than anything. We don't have to entertain suggestions.”

“I just don’t feel right about it.” Gabriel looked back down at the angry note.

“You do it then,” Michael joked.

There was a pause.

“Maybe I will,” Gabriel said, pulling out the scheduling clipboard and writing his own name into the later shifts for the rest of the weekend.

“You can’t be serious.” Michael scoffed.

“Well, I’m catching two bees with one bonnet. If you’re really concerned that their work style should be investigated, then I can’t turn a blind eye to that. Additionally, this is going to be a busy weekend. They _ will _ actually need the help.”

“The phrase is ‘killing two birds with one stone’,” Uriel commented.

“I know, but I like birds, that phrase makes me sad,” Gabriel said.

Michael gave him a pitying look. “Good luck. I guess we’ll see you in the morning.”

“Bright and early as always!” He responded with as much bravado as he could muster.

-

Gabriel stood up from behind the counter as the bell rattled as the closing shift entered. There were only three of them but he realized as they walked in he had never actually _ looked _at them when they encountered each other in passing before. One was tall and thin with crazy bleached hair sticking out in all directions and eyes that didn’t look like they were focusing on anything in particular. The second was a little shorter with incredibly long wavy hair pulled back so tight it may have also been pulling the skin of her face back, but maybe she just had excessively pointed features. Her skin also had a strange iridescence of something that looked like it had been living in the bottom of the sea. They both looked rather unnerving.

The final person to walk in was the shortest one, rather regular looking comparatively, but with wild black hair that was styled in a way that gave the impression they had just rolled out of bed and decided to skip looking in a mirror before heading out. The first two headed to the backroom to drop their things off, while the third slipped behind the counter next to Gabriel and began rummaging around near the registers. Gabriel looked down at them and noticed that there were patches of skin on their face had a faint texture to it which might have been the faded remains of acne scars. 

“Nice to finally meet you uh…” he glanced down and looked at their nametag which had a crudely placed piece of tape with a scribble on it, covering the imprinted name, “...Your name tag just says ‘Sir’?” 

“Yeah,” They didn’t look up from the currency they had pulled out and were counting, cross-checking numbers to make sure everything was in order before the shift officially started, “And I expect you to call me _Sir_.” 

Gabriel frowned. This was already off to a prickly start. Not how he had wanted this to go.

“Szoooo…” Gabriel picked up a slight lisp in their speech as they drew that word out. They pulled the schedule clipboard out from below the counter and looked it over, ”You’re gonna work a full day today. Then get up and work in the morning again _and _stay through tomorrow evening.” Their eyes shot up to meet his, “Are you an idiot?”

“Well,” he huffed, trying to both not be intimidated by their gaze and ignore the insult, “You were the ones requesting more help for this weekend in particular.” _ And no one else wanted to help you. _

“We loszt two--debatably--good people recently; you’ve only loszt one. Obviously, we’re feeling it harder, especially on weekendsz. That’sz why we requested help in the first place.” They looked him up and down. “I wasn’t expecting it to be you, though. Morning shift’sz golden boy, Ga-bri-el himself.” They drew the syllables of his name out, “What did we do to possibly deserve thisz _honor_.” 

They were definitely mocking him.

"Just lucky I guess." He tried to sound genuine.

They snorted, “We figured your people would split the shiftsz. They won’t give you overtime for thisz, you know, taking both. Hoping for some brownie pointsz?”

Gabriel kept himself quiet. He _ was _ actually trying to verify if what Michael had said was the truth. This shift already looked like an incompetent mess. All he needed to do was catch them doing something unseemly or in direct violation of the shop’s standard practices and he could look into taking out the trash.

“Well whatever, just remember one thing.” They strode towards him and stood their full height, which, admittedly, was still 6 inches shorter than him, and jabbed him in the chest with their finger, “I’m in charge. Not you. This isz _ my _ team.”

He smiled his brightest customer-pleasing smile, “I'm at your service.”

They rolled their eyes flicked their attention down to his apron. “What’sz with that.” they asked, in more of a tone of a statement than a question, pointing at the pin next to his golden nametag.  
  
“Oh, I,” Gabriel looked down at his nametag, “I like doves. You know we’re allowed to wear two items of self-expression. I just went with this one.”

“I’ve never heard of a single person liking dovesz, ever.” They looked back up at his face. “It’sz weird. Makesz you look like a goody-two-shoesz.”

“I mean, I do have two shoes,” he said jokingly, he hadn’t really thought that hard about the meaning behind what doves could mean. It just happened to be his favorite bird. He liked birds.

They gave him a pitiful expression, “Bad at jokesz too.”  
  
“Well, what do you have?” He said, looking over at the mismatched collection of (substantially more than two) items pinned on their apron next to their name tag, “What is that even? A fly? Who _ likes _flies?”

“_ I _ like fliesz,” they said simply, not feeling the need to justify anything to him. “Fliesz are cool.”

“Cool for what? Being annoying? Spreading disease? ...Being dirty?” It was his turn to look then up and down. They were incredibly unkempt, but maybe not exactly _dirty _as Michael had suggested. He didn't smell anything out of the ordinary either.

“Yeah, exactly.”

"Doves are way cooler than flies."

They looked at him like he had just said the stupidest thing on the planet.

“Oh f-- Sir, they did it again!” came a call from down the counter.

Their focus immediately shifted to the drowned looking person who had walked in earlier, she had moved behind the counter and currently had the small fridge open.

“What’sz up Dagon?” they called over.

“The fridge is a disaster, _ like always. _” Dagon lamented.

Gabriel glanced over to look inside the fridge in question. “It looks okay to me.”

Dagon looked up and frowned at him. “Of course you would. Your entire shift just doesn’t care one ounce for proper order! How are you even supposed to tell the containers in here apart? I swear sometimes I just--” She began to mutter under her breath as the pulled out the different milks and refrigerated flavorings and began putting them back in a different order.

“Tables aren’t clean,” drawled the tall, wild-haired man who was stalking around the dining area, collecting bits of trash from nooks and crannies and places Gabriel hadn’t noticed were there.

“Clean it up,” they called back to him, “I’ll cover the front while we messz manage.”

They pointed at Gabriel, “You, help Dagon make ordersz. There’sz no time for the fridge organization to take asz long asz I know she wantsz it to take.”

Gabriel shifted down the line, still a distance away from the muttering fish woman who currently cross-checking expiration dates on everything.

The bell jingled and a few customers entered the store. They smiled and walked right up to the front and exchanged pleasantries a weird handshake with the other manager. It seemed like the they all knew each other. 

After the quick greeting, an order was taken. As they were entering it in Gabriel noticed they did some weird override in the computing system, took payment, and sent the order down.

He picked up the slip. It read like the most absurd gibberish. He couldn’t even make out the name of the thing.

“What is this?” He asked Dagon holding it out for her to look at.

“Oh, Boss’ special. Hold on, I got it.” Dagon quickly grabbed a slew of different things and began combining them in ways Gabriel had never seen. The resulting concoction didn’t look much different than black tar. Dagon poured the sludge into a cup, topped it with whip and caramel, and sent it to the front. The customer took it enthusiastically and even dropped a tip in the jar.

Suddenly, Gabriel understood what was happening. He leaned forward and grabbed the other manager by the shoulder and pulled them aside.

“You’re letting people order off-menu _ and _ making your own recipes?” He whispered loudly.

They shrugged. "Maybe, what of it?"

“Blasphemy,” he continued, “It’s just not done.”

“We’re still making the shop money and we don’t over-use the inventory. Why doesz it matter? People enjoy the variety.”

Gabriel’s jaw tightened. “It's not the policy.”

“_ It’sz not the policy _.” They mocked. “Boring.” 

Gabriel looked offended. Rules were there for a reason. They pushed past him back to the line.

“God, you’ve been working here for how many yearsz now? You’ve never tried something even a little different?”

“Of course not.” He watched them pour another one of those… frozen black colored, caramel things out with disgust.  
  
“Thisz shop is good. Solid. The best coffee around. But not much for innovation.”

“I could fire you for this.”

They actually laughed out loud at that as they handed the second drink to another customer and turned back to face him.  
  
“You don’t have firing power over me; we’re both shift managersz. That’sz _ definitely _in your preciousz store policy, bird brain.” They crossed their arms and shifted on their hips, “You’d have to submit a formal request to the General Manager. And you know how bad She’sz been at getting back to anyone recently. Last I heard talk She was on an extended holiday, anyway.”

They paused and tilted their head in thought.

“Actually, if I remember correctly, you’d need to get a shift employee to sign off on the firing request asz well, which, you won’t be able too.” They smirked, “My team would never rat me out over something asz trivial asz whatever you’ve got your feathersz ruffled about.”

He frowned, realizing they were right and they smirked deeper, realizing he had realized they were right. 

“Don’t act all high and mighty about rulesz thinking I don’t know them. And we_ both_ know thisz place can’t afford that kind of turnover right now. Especially after what you did.”

Ah, so, they did blame him for the Big Falling Out.

“That’sz why I’m not really worried about anything happening. No one who’sz attention mattersz caresz about usz bending the rulesz a little bit.”

“So you’re going to slack?” He spoke up again, redirecting to the other matter.  
  
“Don’t misunderstand me, bird brain.” They shot back, incredibly offended. “We _ don’t _ slack here. Everyone doesz their job, we just don’t alwaysz follow your sacred _ policy. _My numbersz are asz good, if not _better_, than yoursz. I'm not going to put up with people who just phone it in. Or worse.” Their expression grimaced, “Lie to me about what they’re really doing. One of the main reasonsz we’re understaffed and I'm concerned about you working a full two daysz straight.”

"I don't lie on principal and I've never slacked so you don’t have to worry about that," he shot back, tactfully ignoring their second accusation. 

They scoffed.

“You slack every single day. Just because you’re up at the crack of dawn and dealing with the 'morning rush' or whatever you like to call it. Doesn't excuse you from slacking off. Dagon organizes and keeps track of every single stock item and Hastur scrubs this place from floor to ceiling, daily. Your people leave everything in chaos. Sometimes they don’t even take the trash out between shifts. It's left for _us_ and then we have to deal with it. We have to deal with all your garbage and laziness. Ever notice _that_, golden boy?”

Gabriel went silent. He didn’t have a response to that because he truthfully, hadn’t. He had not expected this plan to investigate the closing shift’s incompetence to turn into a session of self-reflection that perhaps he and _ his _staff were actually a part of the overall problem.

"Just because things are out of sight does not mean they're as perfect as you think."

Fortunately, before he had to formulate a response to that, the shift picked up. They were actually quite consistently busy the rest of the night and it _ was _ difficult.

He was impressed with how fluid they all worked together, never once falling behind, being able to switch between stations as needed, despite being slammed at all times. He did his best to work around them and help out where he could but they really had a solid system going.

He even got to see some of their other off-menu drink creations. A few even looked moderately edible. 

“You know, you’re quite good, actually.” He commented, when they finally reached a lull near the end of the night.

"I have to admit..." The huffed, pointedly not looking at him, "You're not bad yourself. You kept up, that'sz... acceptable."

“High praise." He laughed, "Would you ever want to switch back to working mornings? It’s got to be easier than this.” 

“Absolutely not." They grimaced, "I may have started doing mornings a long time ago, but I hated that shift. Besides, they’ve got you so...”

They gestured at nothing, “They’d fall apart without me here.”

As if on cue, there was a yelp from the back room followed by a loud crash.

“BEE--” came Hastur’s voice in a distressed cry. “BEE, HELP!”

The groaned before turning to shout back, “You idiot if you broke something that is gonna offset our inventory count _ AGAIN _ Dagon will murder you then I will bring you back from the dead to murder you a second time!”

“Bee?” Gabriel raised an eyebrow.

“It’sz still _ ‘Sir’ _ to you!” they snapped before hustling off to the back to deal with whatever had happened.

“I’m never calling you that!” he called back, thinking he might have to ever so slightly reevaluate his previous assumptions.

Maybe flies could be cool sometimes, too.


	2. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you ever just write an epilogue that’s almost as long as the original fic because--

****\- The next day -** **

"He's traumatized, definitely."

Michael, Uriel, and Sandalphon were peeking in through the cafe window as inconspicuously as they could. They had been secretly watching Gabriel dart around the store after they had all clocked out. He looked like he was conducting an excessive deep cleaning but also rearranging the entire store? Honestly, they couldn't tell, it was completely unnatural behavior.

"Is he moving items around in the fridge? Why?"

“I had honestly figured he was just tired, but now I think he’s straight-up lost his mind.”

“He kept trying to move things around during our shift when we weren’t looking, too. It was unnerving.”

“One day and this is the result... They broke him.”

"What are you lot doing?" came a jarring voice from behind them.

The three of them turned around simultaneously and came face to face with three other people who were all eyeing them suspiciously.

“Ah--” Sandalphon started, surprised, but was cut off. 

“You all loitering?” Dagon accused.

“Or spying?” Hastur offered.

“How uncharacteristic,” Bee said, crossing their arms.

“We--” Uriel began, but again, was cut off.

"Don't you usually fuck off by now?" Bee spat, emitting an aura of as much displeasure as they could. “So kindly fuck off.”

“Of course.” Michael stepped forward and smiled, lacing the grin with as much false sincerity as she could, “We were just leaving. Pardon us."

"I told you," Sandalphon whispered, leaning over to Uriel once they were out of earshot, "Traumatized."

  
  
**\- The next week -**

“You look exhausted.”

Gabriel looked up at Bee from where he was sitting as they entered the store. He tried to grin but just ended up yawning. This was the 2nd weekend in a row he was pulling the long double shifts.

“I’ll get used to it. Just--” He yawned again, “Not quite adjusted yet.”

“I told you you were an idiot.” they commented looking at him pitifully, "Want me to make you something before the shift starts? I don’t want you falling asleep and running into something."

"Oh.. no actually. I appreciate the offer but I don't..." He looked sheepish, like he was giving away a secret, "I don't drink coffee."

“What do you mean you ‘_don’t drink coffee_’?” They asked, suddenly vexed, “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard--you work at a coffee shop! Why even bother?”

“I like the smell and the people,” Gabriel said with a shrug. "But caffeine would throw off my very regimented schedule. I just can’t risk that." 

“Regimented schedule?”

“I go running in the mornings-- well 6 days a week, anyway.” He explained, “It’s grounding, I enjoy it very much. But it does take some discipline to be consistent.”

“Wait,” They put the pieces together in disbelief, "Don't tell me you actually wake up _before_ the morning shift. For _fun_?”

He just smiled, grimly.

“And people tell me _ I’m _ a masochist."

“It’s important to keep in shape,” he said, simply.

“Urg,” They made a distasteful sound, "How disgustingly perfect are you?"

Gabriel laughed for a moment before he tilted his head up to look at them, "You think I'm perfect?"

“I take it back,” Bee huffed, looking away, “I hope you fall asleep while running and slam into a tree.”

**\- The next month -**

"So, no Gabriel today, eh?"

"I guessz," Bee shrugged, "Hadn't really noticed."

"Oh, please." Dagon said, rising up from below the counter, marking off another bit of completed inventory on a chart, “You were, like, _ extra _ irritable all shift.

“I can assure you I’m just asz irritable asz I am every other day,” Bee responded flatly, starting to count out the register as they prepped the shop for closing.

“It was noticeably more,” Haster called from a few tables away where he was sweeping. "You made 5 people cry. Normally it's only 1 or 2."

"And what a coincidence.” Dagon continued, “It's the first weekend _he _hasn’t been here and you just so happened to be extra grumpy because--”

“Dagon if you finish that sentence...” They warned.

She laughed. "Just letting you know... you can always dig up his cell phone number out of his employee record. Everything is on file."

They thought about that for a moment.

"That," they said very steadily trying not to convey any emotion whatsoever as they made a mental note to investigate further, "would be incredibly underhanded. How could you possibly suggest such a thing."

"Oh, you know," Dagon winked. 

"That's cheating." Hastur walked up to the counter and pointed an accusing finger at Dagon.

She shrugged, "All's fair."

“What are you two going on about?” Bee frowned at both of them knowing something was up. They didn't like when Hastur and Dagon left them out of the loop on things.

"We made a bet.” Hastur continued, “Winner gets the other's tips for a month. 'Bout when you and bird boy will hook up."

"You-- wh--" They sputtered not entirely sure how to respond to the blatant directness of the whole thing.

"Hastur doesn't think it will happen for _at least_ another year." 

"He's an idiot." Hastur justified, "Can’t see what you see in him. Pretty and dumb is not what I would think to be your type.”

“Turns out our boss isn't made of pure ire after all,” Dagon teased. "They’re soft on him, what a shame." 

"I'm still right here you know..." Bee prickled. "And I don't see why thisz isz your businessz anywaysz--just..." They were feeling very unexpectedly exposed by this conversation. It was not a feeling they liked.

"Sir, no offense, but you're incredibly dense about this stuff too. But don’t worry,” she gave a quick, self-aggrandizing bow, “I'm here to give you any help you might need."

"Does that imply you're offering to give them kissing practice again, Dagon?" Hastur teased.

"That was _ONE_ time!" both of them shouted in unison, simultaneously turning red and slamming their hands down on the counter.

Hastur chuckled and went back to sweeping.

**\- The next year -**

A phone rang.

There was a rustle of blankets then a hand reached out of a bed and felt around the side table before finding the loud, annoying object. They didn’t even look at the screen as they answered it.

“Hnglo?” they asked, although it was more like a grunt than an actual question.

“Gabriel, it’s Michael, obviously.” came a voice, “Where are you?? I was checking the schedule and there’s no indication of you having the day off today. And even if you did, don’t you think that’s a little excessive? I don’t know what’s been going on recently, but--”

“He’sz sick. Don’t call ever again.” They said flatly, cutting Michael’s grating voice off before ending the call and dropping the phone with a _plonk_ on the ground into a pile of ruffled clothes.

They pulled the covers up to their ears and closed their eyes again, attempting to fall back asleep. It was 5:30 am and they had been up late the night before and definitely did not want to be awake right now. 

“Beeeeesssss….” Gabriel groaned softly, as he reached out and wrapped one of his arms around them, pulling them closer. They breathed out a disapproving noise but allowed him to do so regardless.

Gabriel was an incredibly clingy sleeper, something Bee had found out very quickly. As a standard, they appreciated having their personal space respected and were not one for being casually touched without a reason. Not in public, not in front of friends, not even privately if they had their way about it. They had managed to give an exception to this _only_ when Gabriel was asleep. At that was only because he literally couldn’t seem to help it.

He had such a strong need for tactile contact and was so goddamn _fussy_ when it was taken away. They had even seen him full on _pout_ about it while being entirely passed out. They doubted he had grown out of sleeping with stuffed animals the way they always ended up very much cradled in his arms like one. 

They nuzzled into his shirt in an attempt to get comfortable only to be met with the smell of stale sweat. They pushed back.

“Ewww...” They wrinkled their nose. “You stink.” 

“Nnnn,” he said, definitely at least 84% asleep and still pawing at them trying to pull them closer. “Your fault…”

It was actually.

“Fine,” they huffed, “I’ll deal with your toxic fumesz. But you have to shower later.”

“You tooo…” He mumbled in a way that was both childish and endearing as he nestled their head under his chin. It was his favorite way to hold them.

“Only if you’re lucky.”

“M’very lucky.”

They almost put in the effort to disagree but felt the arms that were wrapped tightly around them grow heavier and heavier as he drifted back off to sleep and decided to let him think whatever he wanted at this moment.

\--

Gabriel put a cup of coffee down in front of Bee and then sat down across their tiny kitchen table with his own glass of water.

“So what should we do today? It’s finally a good temperature outside so I was thinking we could go on a walk to a botanical garden. There will be so many different bugs you can tell me about.”

“Soundsz not terrible but I don’t think that’sz gonna fly today. I have to go into work later.”

Gabriel blinked.

“But… wait. We both took this Wednesday off? I thought you said Dagon was covering you and training someone new? We had to get approval for this over a month ago. I've been looking forward to it.” he said with a small frown.

“Actually, we rehired Ligur after clearing up a messy misunderstanding. Hastur'sz happy about it. Regardlessz," they took a sip of their coffee, "it’sz Tuesday. I’m still scheduled tonight.”

A beat passed. 

Then another. 

Then a third.

Gabriel slammed his hands down shot up from the table, causing all the items on it to jangle. Bee had just managed to lift their cup up in time to avoid complete disaster. He frantically looked at the clock on the wall, then back at them, then back at the clock again. It very much read 11 am.

“Tues--What it _can’t _\--My alarm--It didn’t?”

"Oh yeah, Michael called earlier,” Bee resisted the urge to smirk. “Told her you were sick."

“But you--I,” He blubbered, “I’ve never taken a sick day! Ever! This-This destroys my perfect record!"

"It'sz too late. Your shift isz more than half over. There no use going in now. Look," they said, actually trying to be reassuring as they hadn’t expected him to be this distraught, "I know you have accrued sick daysz. It'sz not like you'll _technically _ get in trouble for thisz. They won't disown you or anything."

“Evil,” He whined, pitifully. “And mean! I can’t believe you didn’t wake me upppp.”

They flourished their hands in the air and gave their best villainous grin, "My wicked plan hasz finally come to fruition! The golden boy Gabriel fallsz from hisz pillar of perfectnessz because he wasz fraternizing with, the congregation gaspsz, _the enemy~_”

"Bees!" He lamented, not finding the same humor in this situation that they clearly did.

"I’m so thrilled to be part of your downfall." They chuckled, "You're practically corrupted! _Taking one sick day._ Just let it go."

He sighed, and slumped down, realizing things were pretty much unchangeable at this point, “What am… what am I supposed to do now?”

"Well…” they leaned forward with a mischievous sparkle in their eyes, "If you're not against further fraternizing… I have a few ideasz.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic was the epitome of “Well if no one else is gonna write it, I’m gonna write it, and I’m gonna write it for me.” Thanks for reading!


End file.
